Sin comes over more sin

I along with probably many people believe that I can withhold my sin from my own life. I can somehow say that my sins are not controlling me, I am just making poor decisions from time to time, but sin is not my ruler, I am. It is false. I am not my own ruler, or if I am I rule myself foolishly in believing I can conquer sin with more sin. I can make myself believe that what I am doing isn't actually sin, or what I am doing is not going to always be what I do. Although that may be true, maybe someday I won't be making the same mistakes; it is a mistake to assume that my sin doesn't over power me to make sinful decisions. It is my sinful nature that drives me to cover up my wrong doings with more wrong doings. It is consuming my spirit into nothingness, breaking my spirit into believing the sin I am choosing is not that bad, or it is not abnormal, so it is ok. I don't want to be ok, or normal. I want to be abnormal with God. I can no longer admit that I rule over myself. I can no longer dismiss the idea that my sins have over powered me into believing I can stop whenever I choose or I am actually ruling over myself. Who would choose this life of death if they were truly aware of what it means. I will sleep in death, but by my own consciousness. I believe sin drives all of us to reverse what we see as holy and pure. Nobody wants to be their own judge and judge rightly. It is too hard to break ourselves down, and then understand God's grace. It is far easier to let sin rule its sinful way; by telling yourself that whatever your sin is, it is not in control over you, it possess no power over you, and you can decide to stop and go back the other way at anytime. More and more and more sin, equates to more and more and more imprisonment to sin. The only way to stop sin, is to stop sinning. Simple, but it is impossible to do on our own. I need God's love to show me how to understand that if I keep pretending that sin holds no power over me, then I will eventually give myself over completely to sin. I have to choose God's grace to protect me from the wayward ways of my life. I cannot not live in sin, I cannot live in believing that I rule over sin, and I cannot ignore God's call for me to make a choice into giving my control over to him. I cannot do it on my own anymore. I keep ending in failure, brokenness, and hopelessness. Graces comes over more grace, and it is always stronger than sin. God's love will always prevail over sin if I choose to listen to his grace over my own sin.