Fleeting moments

I might cry about something, and I might laugh about something. I might become angry over something, and I might become glad over something. All of these emotions last for a few fleeting moments in my mind; I can revisit them if I want to remember, but the thoughts only last for a few moments once again. One of the hardest things in life is revisiting a moment that has never stopped. An itch that doesn't get scratched, a hunger that goes on and never satisfied, a missing piece that is irreplaceable, not found. Longing for something or someone is the never fleeting moment that can only cease to repeat when I am ready to relinquish it to my provider. When I realize it is always going to be hard, and it will always be a part of my mind. I cannot control it, I cannot erase it, I cannot let it go, but I can love it and all it represents to me. I can grow with it to the end. It is a part of my life, and I will be a part of the life it exists in.

Hope in the Heart

A longing for something that is almost reachable but just out of reach is the hope that shuffles in and out of life.  Days apart from what is known as hope are what keep the heart alive and pounding.  It doesn't give up on the unknown future because it has hope locked inside.  If it knew the unknown final product of which it hopes for, it would be finished.  Nothing else will ease this hunger, except to keep going and live out its future.  Hope and love do not give up the fight, they contribute to the searching of the heart's desire.

Regrets

I often wonder what it is that makes a person choose to be different under different circumstances.  I believe regret is one of the things that holds a part of the brain captive in making decisions that will change a person's life.  What is it that regret really does for a person's thought to discover that this decision might cause something a person will regret?  I think it is more important to recognize the regret and to travel backwards to what choices made this regret possible.  Finding out what happened before the decision that a person regrets is more crucial to making a better choice in the future than just focusing on the regret itself.  So also, when focusing on who do I want to be in life, I find it more helpful to focus on who do I not want to be in this life.  If a person can stick to that line of consciousness, I believe they will find the answers they are searching for.  Regrets often come and go, but who a person is in between those circumstances is what makes regret possible and what makes becoming who you don't want to be, who you shouldn't be, possible.

Battle Cry

Go to war against me.  Invade my shores and battle to overtake all my harbors until they are under your mighty hand.  March through my cities and burn them out.  Let nothing that is not born of you dwell here.  Ravage my identity that only exists for my own land, that has not been given to me.  Turn all my barricades into graves for the foolishness and deception that must die.  I pray to go to battle with you and lose.  Let me not be successful in defending my territory to your spirit.  Take all the parts of my heart, soul, and mind that have been turned against you, and destroy what is necessary to take captive all that is able to be refined in your loving fire; let the rest burn as nothingness.  When every part of my land has been turned over and wiped desolate of anything unworthy of existing in love, plant a mustard seed of your love.  Let the seed flourish in my soul, and bring forth new hope in my land.  Let my heart be purified and new in this old place.  Let the love of the father grow deep and rich in this land of hopefulness.  Continue to battle with me as the loving father who always understands the naive son who goes against his father.  Let your light be reflective in what you plant here.  What is born from you shall be my new heart with your name set upon it forever.

Song of Songs 8:6  Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.  It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.

Simple Thoughts

Growing together is sometimes in the distancing of ourselves apart.  Finding an identity you are whole with can be what you bring back together.  Anything else is in itself the deception that leads us to believe we are complete together, and without notice of ourselves it leads us not together again.

Hope 4 now

Hope is in the midst of all change. It's quite safe in my heart, and trusted to my dearest friend: God. Hope to start over. Hope in love.