Fascination With the Will

At this very moment my mind is listening to music play through these speakers that I can see right in front of me, and all the while my brain is sending a thousand different signals to a thousand different places.  It does this so fluidly and naturally that I tend to not realize it happens in every single moment of my life.  My ability to concentrate on the meaning of all of these words while my brain is sending signals back and forth to my hands and finger tips to write and push the right keys on this keyboard is amazing.  The more I am familiar with the sequences or progression the faster my brain sends these signals, and there it is.  Autonomous function of my will, I decide what I ultimately do with this amazing machine that is a brain.  All of the power to decided to do something is locked inside my will power, it is who I am, who my character is.  Sometimes I forget that it will automatically do something because I am familiar with it, not because it is my ultimate decision.  Sometimes I do things that I don't agree with, but that my sequencing of doing things in life has become so programmed without me having to manually override a decision, I just follow along with its pathway until I recognize that was not what I wanted to do or say.  It is amazing how that works.  A cognitive dissonance, and I'm all overwhelmed by what I just did or said that wasn't intended.  I need to correct it or overwrite it, I need to figure out what that was.  I think we forget how much power we behold because of the will to do what we want to, not what we ought to, what we as individuals want to.  It is scary at times, to imagine a creator who knew outright that he has created this, this was his will.  His decision to make a group of peoples with their own unique will, the individuality that makes us all unique and yet the same.  I feel my heart beat to the pattern it has been programmed to match by some internal measurement, and I feel the air, actually sit in the quiet and feel the air go through my nose or mouth, any airway path, and it fills my lungs.  My body moves all around me without me having to blink for it to all work correspondingly with other elements my body is participating in.  Vision in itself is unexplainable to me.  It is a fascinating function of the body, external movies being played right in front of me all the time, internally.  Endless amounts of functions that are amazing, and I take them all for granted most of the time with my will to do what I want.  I have programmed a lazy will.  All of these amazing things we can do as people, all of the amazing things we can accomplish with the amount of will power working together.  All of these things we represent everyday inside of being a human creation.  It has occurred to me that God is fascinated as well by what he has created, because I wouldn't be designed the way I am if is wasn't for the fascination of a creator to make something totally out of his own will to make something its own.  With its own functions and structures to work how they will when programmed or wired the way we are as individuals.  It also occurred to me, or more God presented me with the simple mesmerizing idea of creation, it is like he wants in all creation to see ourselves and the world as a wonderment, an amazement of fascination all around us, all the colors, all the scents, all the textures, all of things that make us feel as real as we ever possibly could, God wants everyone to know that and all its elements.  Then in that very same moment, he wraps up all of those ideas, all of those feelings, all of those memories, all of those functions I contain in my body, all of the amazement we have seen or experienced, and he tosses it to the side of the room or existence.  I am in disbelief at this action.  Why would you throw all of that away, that is all I know, all that I can function in.  In an overwhelming moment I understand God's revelation to me.  Jeremy I could create this or something even more extravagant if that is what I wanted, I can put it back into existence whenever I please.  What I want is your will to be for me.  What I cannot and will not ever control is your FREE will to be who you decide.  Out of all the amazing things I have designed your body to do, the outside world to do, all of it pales in comparison to your love being intertwined with mine.  It is always the will that is the simplest idea behind everything we are, and of course it is the one thing I would suspect last that God cares about or is in love with, fascinated with.  It is what makes me me, and God's wants that.  All of the things we have been given control over and can do, but it is the will that makes the difference of who we will be.  It cannot be taken or stolen, that's the beauty of the will.  It can only be given by its choice to do so.  God is relentless in demonstrating his beautiful wish for my existence.